A Morning at the Beach

I had woken up far too early in the morning, just like I had most days since we got here. My body still wasn’t used to the new time zone. We’d been here half a week and I still wasn’t used to it. That wasn’t the same as me not liking it, for sure. After waking up, I always did the same thing. I made myself a real greasy breakfast at around five in the morning, when I was waking up. Then, I went for a walk up to the top of a hill across town to watch the sunrise. Locals told me about the place, when I asked about a place to watch the sun back on our first morning here, after I figured out what my sleep schedule was about to look like. Once the sky’s color returned to its normal blue, I headed back to the northerly beach near which our cabin stood. But, rather than walk through town, I went the long way, enjoying the countryside and emptiness, avoiding the bustle of other people doing their morning routines. Well, for the most part. I made it back to the beach around the time that the others were getting functional. Not that I minded too much. It gave me some time to set up a spot, and gaze contemplatively out upon the world. Besides, my friends actually enjoy beaches for normal beachlike activities and I, well, don’t really. I let them have their fun, for a bit. I noticed them moving about the place as I passed and headed further down the coast.

I arrived at the small shop set up on the southernmost beach by this town as it was opening up. I nodded at the proprietor. Cecilia owned the little place that sold odds and ends. “Do you want any help?” I asked as she set things up. I knew the answer, and yet I asked all the same.

“Four days you’ve asked, four days I’ve refused,” she replied, shaking her head. But, she was smiling, so I could tell she didn’t mind too much. “When will you get it through your head?”

I chuckled. “Bold assumption, assuming I can remember anything I do this early in the morning.”

“It is eight,” she responded, “That is not a weirdly early time at all. That is a normal awake time. That is an if you’ve got a job you should already be getting to it time.”

She was right, but I simply shrugged. “Fine, if you don’t want the help,” I replied with a smile of my own, “I’ll just go do something else with my time.”

“Like what?” she countered.

I shook my head at her. “I came here with friends, you know?”

“Oh really?” she chuckled. I figure she knew I did, I wasn’t the type to choose a beach myself. “Why haven’t I ever seen them?”

“We’ve all got our things. They like beaches, I like weird stores and people who are cruel to me.” Then, more seriously, I add, “Also, they’re up at one of the beaches north of town.”

“Oof, that’s a walk. And I’m not cruel, I just have a business to run. One that a loud American standing around and not buying anything doesn’t help much.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Fine, if you want to be like that,” I told her. Starting to walk away, I added, “See you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait,” she replied earnestly. “One of these days, we have to catch each other when I’m not busy.”

I shrugged. “Can’t be too hard, I’m easy to find. As you said, just look for the loud and obnoxious American.”

She laughed. “I never called you obnoxious. Not to your face, in any case.”

I laughed right back as I left to walk the coastline some more.

Today was a nice day, so when I eventually made it back and noticed half my friends at the beach, I gave myself some time to take in the view. A normal thing I did wherever I went, but on a nice day with a good view, it was a different animal. The sunshine felt good. Great, even. It poured down my bare back as I stared westward at the ocean. While I still firmly stand by the belief that I should have never let my friends talk me into coming out here in the first place, even I had to admit it wasn’t all bad. I wasn’t actually planning on entering the water, but it was a great experience all the same. After all, who doesn’t want to head to foreign country for spring break. I smiled and nodded to my buddy, Francisco, the kid whose private jet allowed for our excursion. He laughed as he walked over, arms around a rather attractive woman and an equally attractive man.

“I told you it’d be great, Sean,” he beamed, clearly pleased that his friend was pleased, “I mean, when have I led you wrong in the past?”

I shrugged, about to answer placatingly, then twisted my smile into a more sinister grin. “Well, there was that New York trip. And the skinnydipping that one time up north. And the whole Inez situation. And…”

He cut me off. “Alright, alright, I get it. But this time…” he trailed off, nodding and smiling, clearly proud of himself.

“This time seems pretty great, I’ll admit it. I was wrong, just this once,” I conceded.

Fransisco turned to the couple making out on a towel nearby. “You guys heard that, right?”

Terra took a break from sucking down Len’s face to look up at Francisco. “What,” she mused, “You mean Sean admitting he was wrong? I heard it. Wish I had my phone recording that, but I definitely heard it.”

From behind me, Katie reassured them. “Don’t you worry, I caught it in the background of my recording.”

I turned to face her. “Et tu, Katie?” I joked, holding my back as though it had just been stabbed.

“Sorry, Sean, but that’s gold. I think I’m going to use it every once in a while. Maybe make it my ringtone for you.” Then, smiling, she mimicked the sound of my voice, “Buzz, I was wrong just this once, buzz, I was wrong just this once.”

I shook my head at the whole lot of them. “Why the hell am I friends with you guys?” I muttered unto the universe. The universe did not deign to answer, unfortunately. It probably didn’t really understand it either.

Len, however, did. “Because we’re awesome?”

“Aw,” Francisco added, “And I just thought it was because of the whole SHE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED situation.” His voice was appropriately booming for the title. And, to be fair, it isn’t entirely wrong. That whole thing was a big part of us coming together as a unit. That said, it was also very much not right.

Katie nodded. “That’s definitely why he’s friends with me,” she said, a half-smile flashing across her face for emphasis.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Katie,” I retorted, “I’m obviously friends with you so I can steal all your genius ideas.” She laughed at that, so I went with it a little further. “Don’t worry, my first award I win entirely based on your creativity, I’ll dedicate partially to you. Or, well, at least in my first acceptance speech I’ll make sure to mention you first among the thank-yous.”

“Thanks, Sean,” Katie chuckled, “That means a lot.”

“Anytime,” I replied with a smile and a shake of my head. “Well,” I said, “While we’re here and it’s still legal, I’m gonna get myself a drink. Maybe two.”

Len rolled over, switching places with Terra, then standing up. “No way. Not without me, at least.”

Francisco looked plain mischievous. “You’d leave poor Terra all alone, Len?” he joked.

“Oh, screw you,” Terra spat, “Poor little Terra could whoop your butt any day of the week.” Then, turning to Katie, she said, “While the boys are off getting plastered, let’s go get you laid.”

Katie groaned. “Again? We tried that yesterday.”

I added, “And the day before, if I remember correctly.”

Katie shot a look of shut-the-heck-up at me. “You aren’t doing much better, if I remember correctly,” she spat. There was an edge of grumpiness in her otherwise jovial tone. Clearly she wasn’t too pleased about the situation.

I made my best puppy-dog eyes. It wasn’t cute, just a little odd. “But wittwe owd me’s stiww deawing wiff my thad bweakup,” I said, in my best baby voice.

“Oh, screw your breakup,” Katie said, a smile back on her face, “You’ve just got no game.”

My eyebrows raised as I dropped the act. “Oh, really?” I asked, “Care to wager on that?”

She leaned in. “It’s on, kid,” she said, mocking the sort of intimidating talk and pose of an MMA weigh-in’s photoshoot.

I was all too happy to oblige her, posing all the same. “Don’t bring the heat, unless you want to get burned,” I said, in my best imitation of a terrible one-liner from a movie emulating bad eighties action films. Not even trying to reach bad eighties movie quality either, but the imitators of them.

“I can’t get burned, ‘cause I am the fire,” she replied.

Len and Terra each took pictures of the stare down. They’d probably post them by the time we made it to the bar. Francisco was doing his best impression of an onlooker to a real fight, looking back and forth as the bad insults and humorous taunts flew between us.

I, needing the last word, said, “Then call me sand, because I’m about to snuff you out.”

“Oooh,” added Francisco and his retinue. Len and Terra both laughed at the one-liner-y-ness of the insult.

It even broke Katie’s mock intensity, causing her to chuckle and admit, “Alright, that was a good comeback.”

I stuck my tongue out. “I knew watching all those eighties and nineties action flicks would help me out in the long run.”

“No,” Terra said, shaking her head, “They really won’t.”

Len mocked offense to the statement. “Are you claiming I’m not an expert kickboxer after watching all those van Damme classics?” he asked jokingly, proceeding to try and fail to do a high kick of some kind.

Katie crunched her face up as she looked over at him, “I’m just saying, don’t be trying any splits anytime soon.”

We all laughed as we walked over to the seaside bar. It may have been noontime, but that place was open and serving plenty of people when we arrived. I turned to Katie. “So, rules. No giving or offering drugs, and no people we’ve already met.”

She nodded. “No using Francisco or his, let’s call them ‘friends’, either. And no karaoke.”

“Dang it,” I said, exaggerating my frustration. Then I nodded. “Fine. But one day you’ll realize the value of karaoke as a seduction tool.”

“No, we really won’t,” all four of my friends said almost simultaneously. Fools, the whole lot of them.

I shook my head at them all. Francisco leaned in. “On your marks,” he began, and slowly added, “Get set,” and finally finished with, “GO!”

We both rushed into the bar to get to work. See, I had a plan. Sure, she was funnier, and more attractive, and generally better at communicating. And smarter, and well, had pretty much everything slightly better or more than me. But she was known and should come off just a tad desperate which might slow stuff down a bit. Whereas I was a mysterious stranger with a deep-seated brokenness in my eyes that could make anyone swoon. Hopefully. That combined with my luscious, manufactured-but-naturalistic baritone, at least. So, while she was working the room with Terra, I did my best lonesome stranger in the booth with Len working the bar as the only friend character. Or maybe I just used that whole spiel to convince everyone that I was actually trying in this game, instead of simply day drinking in a beachside bar. Who’s to truly say either way. Well, I could be, but I’m not one to reveal my secrets. What mysterious stranger worth their salt would do that?