Sherpa of Shame

“Well, I got to say, that was the most awkward fifteen minutes of my life,” I tell Ike as we saunter out of the library. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” Ike lies to my face. There’s definitely something going on in his headspace. It seems, however, I’m gonna have to do something clever to get it out of him. He’s a brick wall. “It’s just,” he continues, “No.” A slightly cracked brick wall, it seems, but a brick wall all the same. “Well,” he begins again, “No, nothing.” He wants to tell me, but doesn’t think it smart or wise, I never remember the difference between those two.

I need to get him in a state of lowered inhibitions. Bar crawling is out of the picture, cause Ike’s been acting weird about drinking since break ended. “Hey, I was heading out to the woods. Want to join?” I ask, innocuously.

“No more questions about it?” he replies. Drat, I am found out.

I play it cool, though. “Of course not,” I insist, “I just needed a break after that awkwardness. Trust, I can help you wallow in silent shame as good as anyone.”

Ike groans, loudly. That means he bought it. “Alright, but it ain’t going to be like last time, either. We’re coming back here for lunch, got it?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I joke. Under my breath but loud enough for him to hear it, I add, “Sheesh, get someone robbed in a Denny’s parking lot once and you never hear the end of it.”

Facetiously, Ike smacks me lightly across the back of my head. “Lead away, sherpa of shame.”

Taking that as the complement it is, I lead Ike out into the Smoking Trail, to my wonderful bench overlooking the pond. Lisette’s earlier than usual. I’m not really expecting her being there. “What’s up?” I ask, as I gesture for Ike to sit and I remain standing. Lisette gives my man Ike a weird look, can’t really read it too great, but I’m thinking whatever has him weirded out, she’s at least heard obliquely about.

“Nothing. Just have an early meeting,” she complains. “What about you?”

“Same, but replace the present with the past tense,” I jokingly reply, pulling out a joint for me and Ike to share. Lighting it, I offer it to Ike. “Ike seemed a little stressy, so I figured what better way or place to relax.”

Lisette smiles and nods. After a couple puffs, he offers the joint to Lisette, who, of course, refuses. I slide around and take it from his hand. “Joints killed her parents,” I whisper to Ike loud enough for Lisette to hear.

Lisette heard and, standing up, shoves me lightly. “You got to stop telling people that. Some of the dumber ones might actually start to believe you.”

“Are you calling me dumb?” Ike objects.

Lisette gives him a look. This one I can read, clear as day. It’s a look that says, ‘Yes. Yes I do.’

Ike chuckles and shakes his head. “Fair enough, I suppose.” As I seat myself beside Jase, he adds, “Though you the one who just gave up your seat to Jase.”

I nod to Lisette. “The kid has a point,” I joke, shit eating grin across my face.

Ike slaps me across the back of the head again. “Kid?” he spits out, “I’m like, what, four months younger than you?”

“Five and change, I’ll have you know,” I state, as though the extra month and a week is incredibly significant. It is, of course, but only in my mind.

“Of course,” Ike laughs out. “My B.” Then, to Lisette, he adds, “See, even my elderly friend agrees with me.”

“Creaking bones and all,” I joke. Lisette rolls her eyes at me, or the both of us. It’s kinda hard to tell.

She lights up her bowl and takes a moment to enjoy it, standing beside us. Then, puffing the smoke out, she states, “Alright.” Tapping my shoulder, she informs me, “But it’s about time for you to be standing, isn’t it?”

I shake my head and sigh. “No fun at all.” However, I stand up. I’m a rebel, I’m not insane. Taking another hit, I pass the joint back to Ike. “How was your break, Lisette?” I ask. I’m super clever, I know. This way, she’ll ask us about our breaks, and I can figure out what’s what with Ike without asking about it myself. Loopholes and whatnot.

She looks up at me and seeing my loopholes-and-whatnot face, she shakes her head and sighs. “Nothing like you guys, probably,” she answers, “I just did some work, slept a lot. Caught up on some shows I’ve been missing.”

“Didn’t meet up with family or anything?” I ask, honestly curious about it. She had last year.

“I flew out there for Christmas, but only spent a couple days before I had to come back. I’m kind of swamped. We lost three Magisters and only got two new ones, meaning everyone’s got more work to do,” Lisette complains, but not in a super complain-y way.

“Didn’t even get to stay til New Years?” I ask her.

She shook her head. “What about you, Jase?” she replies. Dang it. I go to all this planning and she goes and asks the wrong person.

I smile, though. I get to talk about myself, so that’s always good. “Just went home, got to hang out with my brother and his fam. It was pretty great. I’m all ready for anything that might come this semester.”

“You mean, you stole some more of your brother’s urine, just in case?” Ike asks. Good, he’s talking.

“I can neither confirm nor deny this scurrilous rumor,” I say with a smile.

Lisette chuckles. “What about you, Isaac?” she asks, her face saying a lot. She def knows something. “You do anything...interesting over break?” Score one for the Jase guy.

Ike looks Lisette in the general face region and instantly sees the same thing I saw. Rolling his eyes, he lies through his very well cleaned teeth, “Not really. Just hung out around here. Wallowed in my own thoughts. Got drunk a few times. Talked with Ter some.”

“Really?” I ask, “You decided, of your own free will, to chat with Therese? And she didn’t kill you?”

Lisette shrugs. “I don’t know,” she replies, “Given his body language, maybe she did worse than kill.” Oh, that woman a hundred percent knows something.

Ike shakes his head. “Nah, it was fine. I’m careful.” He turns from the woman who knows what’s up to me, “Speaking of Ter, what you think of her new friend?”

“Irene? Is it bad if I say that they kinda scare me?”

Ike thinks for a moment, then states, “Yeah, but not about you. I think you’re the closest she’s had to a friend here before.”

“Oh, we are friends. That’s what scares me. She isn’t being Irene’s friend.”

Lisette looks confused at the both of us. “Who are you talking about?”

“Therese,” I say, “Getting chatty with a new freshman.”

Lisette shrugs. “Not one to judge. Maybe this’ll make her less terrifying.”

I shake my head, knowing exactly where her mind went. Lisette’s mind basically lives in the gutter. “It ain’t like that,” I say, “Besides, don’t you got a meeting to get to?”

She looks at her watch. “Crap. Yeah. Bye,” she says as she stands up and hurries back to campus.

I sensibly wait for her to leave. Ike hands me back the joint as we watch her leave. The moment she’s out of sight, I turn to Ike. “The deuce was that about?”

“What was what about?” Ike replies to my question with a question to avoid the need for answers.

“You know exactly what. You see I have eyes, right?” I answer as I seat myself back down on the bench.

Ike smirks at me. Coyly, he shoots right back, “Well, which what do I know? I had two of them.”

I chuckle at the joke. “Well, I was talking about the what replying to my that, but you also know the other what, so if you’d like to share…”

Ike sighs, shaking his head. “If I’m going to share,” he begins, then holds out his hand and gestures. I oblige, taking one last hit before handing what was left of the joint over. “Thanks,” he says. Taking a deep inhale, he shakes his head again. “Over break, some stuff happened.”

“You said, you got existentially depressed, drunk, and freely chatted with Therese. So what?” I respond with a shrug.

“Yeah, well, I WAS telling the truth,” he begins, then after a pause for effect, “But maybe I left out a thing or two.”

Ooh, it’s the reverse lie. Cool, I muse as I pull out another joint. It seems to me like he’s gonna need the rest of that one for his story. With a muted muttering, a flick of my fingers, and a bouncing blaze, the joint is alight and I start to smoke. “What did you leave out?”

“To be clear, I don’t really remember. Well, the first time, I don’t really remember,” he begins to get defensive before he even admits what happened. That isn’t a good sign. “And also, I’m pretty sure it’s all Ter’s fault. A part of one of her plans within plans or something.”

“Okay, I get it, you hath been absolved of your wrongdoing,” I reply, “Which is what exactly?”

Ike takes yet another deep hit. He’s real nervous about this whole thing, which if I’m honest, kinda weird. Ike isn’t me. He doesn’t get nervous very much. “Well, it was back at the beginning of break, right. I wasn’t feeling the loneliness of my dorm much, so I went out to drink.” He paused, unsure.

I nod. “Makes sense. Everyone’s done something like that at some point.”

“Well, I got really drunk and blacked out,” he finishes.

I shrug. “So what? You did something embarrassing. Ooh, did you have a one night stand that was really terrible?”

“Not exactly,” he equivocates.

“So it was a one night stand, though?” I push

He winces. That hit close to home. “Not exactly.”

“You going to make me keep guessing until I figure it out, or can you just come out and admit whatever happened?” I ask, growing tired of his not-exactlys.

“I sorta woke up naked. With Sierra,” he says slowly, clearly incredibly embarrassed.

I laugh. “That is fantastic. So much fun ammo,” I begin to joke. Then I think about his responses for a moment. “Wait, how wasn’t this a one night stand? That’s, like, textbook one nighter.”

He looks out over the lake. “Well…” he trails off, cocking his head and giving me a nervous look.

“Oh, no? Please don’t tell me,” I say, my head shaking in disappointment. “Don’t tell me what I think you’re about to tell me.”

He tells me. “It sorta wasn’t only once.”

I slap him across the back of the head. “Idiot,” I state, just to the world in general.

“It’s not like we’re dating or anything,” Ike objects to my statement, “We’re just, you know. I mean, we were just. Not anymore. It was only over break. It’s over now.” He says it so emphatically that he’s clearly trying to convince himself.

“Mmhm,” I reply, “That’s why you ain’t been drinking since break ended. Because you’re so sure it’s over.”

He, loudly, groans. “God, I’m hopeless, aren’t I?” he muses as his eyes drift over to the lake. He enjoys the end of his joint. I offer him mine, but he holds up a hand in refusal. He probably wants to sober up fully before we head back to campus. Sensible, all things given.

I answer him, though probably not with the answer he wants me to give. “You really are,” I say, shaking my head. Just then, my nemesis duck swims into the middle of the lake. Ike gaze falls upon it, slowly becoming a stare. “Careful, man,” I say, “That duck’s a filthy cheater.”